Date : Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Time : 7:45 PM
Title :

whaddup? hahaha. so, im sorry about the previous post. i was so mad plus tension at that time. its the easiest way that i can released all those madness in me. besides, i want people to know that being in a relationship is not that perfect of what you think. understanding, loving and care for each other is not enough in a relationship. but most important thing is that you must and have to communicate well and understand your partner true life and accept the way they are. tk kire sebelom die matae dengan ko atau selepas nye. that's what i've learned and i've experienced it myslef. yes i may be young to talk about being in a relationship is like, but i just wanted all those girls out there to know, there's no used of crying for a boy who doesnt even love you, who doesnt even care for you and who doesnt even understand your lfe. yes i cant comparing my own experienced with khairul with other people's relationship, but i bet you, the first few months might be perfect and wonderful in your relationship, but bile da stgh bulan, mak ko, nanti mcm-mcm die keluarkan.

okae, i've had enough talking and typing about all those un-necesary things, its time to update of what's been happening to me after the stupid break-up.

watched 17 Again wif this friend of mine and his kekek friends. HAPPY FAMILY eh guys? hahaha! and i have to admit it! it was not a bad movie aft all. i enjoyed it(: well, after watching, it makes me realise alot of things, that i cant take my life for granted. we only have one shot in life n theres no turning back time. we only live our age once n the numbers keeps growing each year. im beginning to appreciate every single thing that has happened to me n im so blessed with having such great life. thanks eh happy family for cheered me up with that stupid break-up. but i admit it that i still miss and love him mybe. and yes, i can see that he moved on already. haiya haiya, GOD please save me lah.

and to dearie khairul, if you moved on by asking other girls number, than why cant i?

Labels: there's more to come

Date : Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Time : 9:07 AM
Title :

I don't know where to start. I don't see the use reminiscing all the bittersweet memories we shared together over here. But i just have to. It's really hard for me to accept this fact. I have to let everything out. Couldnt believe my eyes when i read your messages.
You said we're done. You said you're letting me go. You think that's the best for us. You said you're tired of relationships. You left, without a single kind word. You're mean. I still remember all those empty promises you made. You said you'll change but you never did. Now that we're through, to think back again. There's still so many things left undone. I wish i could have given them to you. I already planned a surprise for you. But guess it's a little too late now. You've already forgotten me. I am nobody to you already. And i don't know what to do with all those things i've planned for you earlier. I thought you were the one. I thought we were meant to be. I was wrong. I don't know how to face this. It hurts so much. Afterall, it's no use loving someone who doesn't loves you. I have to forget you now. I have to. But how can i? I don't know who you've found now that you've decided to let me go. You chose to leave instead of love. It's over now. I thank God for giving me a chance to at least have you in my life for once which indeed, the outcome has been like a rollercoaster ride, maybe worse. I have to move on. You're not worth my tears. Yes we're done.

and you know what khairul?
by asking other girl if they still do remember you is not cool you know.
i know you're reading this n i know that you understand of what im trying to say.
but, if you still dont, figure it out for urself.
screw you for doing this to me.

Date : Saturday, April 25, 2009
Time : 10:36 AM
Title :

note to self ,
do we have a choice to do things that we dont wanna do? is there any chance to get through your head? jus like what momma always say, " we always have a choice " it only depends on how wise you choose or make them. it wil start off bad but eventually it wil turn out to be good if not, even better. dont force ureself to do things that you dont wanna do. coz , it wil just cause misery. think about it aigghht ! to some, you might not understand what im tryna reach out but , its for me to understand and for me to let out. so if it doesnt concern you, then dont bother even tying to figure out aigght.

Date : Thursday, April 23, 2009
Time : 2:53 AM
Title :

I think i have forgotten how to love and miss.
It's decreasing..
bit by bits.
I don't know whether to be happy or sad about it.
If this is what you wanted. congratulations, you made it! =)
But you know how much i smiled whenever i think of you?
IT'S JUST TOO COMPLICATED!


As time goes by,
i began to be much more stronger.
Yes i cried, but lesser.
Everyone is right. Time heals.
It's hard to move on, and even harder to stay.
So i decided to be caught in the middle.Between going off and standing by.
If waiting makes me happy. Why not.
If crying turns me better. Why not.
If seeing him with other doesn't effect my decision. Why not.
I have the right to please myself though it's hard on your side.

Date :
Time : 2:38 AM
Title :

Date : Saturday, April 18, 2009
Time : 11:59 AM
Title :

its 3 in the morning right now and that seems like a pretty nice timing for me to be updating. and i have absolutely no idea why. im so bored, i've got nothing to do. and i baked two batch of brownies just now in less than an hour! cutting the baking duration. haha! i love baking.

so so so, its already saturday. and will be sunday on the next day. haiya haiya i just realised that time's moving too fast. way too fast, isnt it good if we could put it to stop where the best moments of our live's are? yeah if only.

my little's brother growing up. after the 'sms-ing session' i had with dee or lydia, she made me realise that mybe i wasnt there for my brother when he needs someone. haiya haiya, adek sendiri right. what to do. k i dont know what else to elaborate/brag/share/update on. and so that you readers can get a clue of how my life is.

and im not gonna update abt today's plan. it turns out well lah with the cuzzin but not with him. i shall update on the next post. bye.

Date : Friday, April 17, 2009
Time : 7:45 AM
Title :

Date : Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Time : 5:23 AM
Title :

you know, sometimes i think i've been doing the very least to please you, please you in every single aspect. but right now, i guess ive been trying way too hard. im just tired, really tired lah khairul. not in a physical sense lah but rather mentally and emotionally. including today, i've known you for like almost 2 years, but actually 3 years to be exact, and i see everything going on the same as how it has always been. in a week, we can never not argue/quarrel even over the slightest things. i've worked hard, and sometimes really hard for this relationship. but im just not sure if you have. i try to keep my cool though i know ive lost it. i try not to get pissed or annoyed even when i know i will. i try to smile even when my emotions tell me not to. i try to talk to you even when i dont want to. i try to question you even when i know what's your reply gonna be like. i try not to get mad for long i try not to get you pissed i try to keep that smile on your face everytime i see you but i just dont really know why i fail. i try to please you, in every single way.
i try not to argue with you but i just cant help it. i try and until today, until just now that we met,i have never stopped trying. so do you get a clue how it hurts for me when everytime you see me with a frown on your face and when you answer me in a tone that i dont wanna hear? i know you really well but i still cant figured out why i still dont get you. and i know that you're reading this syg, but i just wanted you to changed. that's it. i dont expect too much from you.

Date : Monday, April 13, 2009
Time : 8:09 AM
Title :

Date : Sunday, April 12, 2009
Time : 11:26 AM
Title :

since i was all alone at home today, i spent some time reading back all khairul's messages in my inbox and saved "forever" messages. it really brings a smile to my face to think abt how we started off to where we are. i have to admit, there are some qualities some guys have that my boyfriend doesnt. but then again, there are alot of other qualities that my khairul have too, that alot of guys doesnt have. im very much thankful. i guess you guys can say that i have the best thing on earth. because afterall i truly believe that,

Date :
Time : 9:23 AM
Title :

Date : Friday, April 10, 2009
Time : 10:47 AM
Title :

Date : Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Time : 9:09 AM
Title :

Date : Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Time : 6:00 AM
Title :

Date : Monday, April 6, 2009
Time : 2:02 AM
Title :

Date : Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Time : 6:11 AM
Title :